Purple-Orange Duckies in A Red Mini-Dress
by Happy Birthday to Howie
Summary: What happens when you have four drunk demi-saiyajins? Be warned, it's weird. And I only checked it once, so it might not be that good.


Purple-Orange Duckies in A Red Mini-Dress  
  
by Tanyaneko  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z/GT. I don't make any money off of this, either. I just write because it's fun... (and it's something to do when I can't sleep.) And I don't own the Barney song,or Bra's cheer. Anyway, on with the story...  
  
  
  
Pan glanced across the beer-stained table at Bra and Goten, who were both clutching their stomachs and laughing while tears streamed down their faces.  
  
_I don't get what's so funny,_ Pan thought, and decided to ignore them, instead turning her attention to Trunks, who was sitting next to her downing his third bottle of tequila. He'd already consumed enough to kill a human- they all had- and it was more than enough to get a demi-saiyajin drunk.  
  
"Goten?" Bra asked, in her normal clueless tone, after they'd stopped laughing, "Why are we here again?"  
  
Goten looked up from what he was doing at the moment, (snorting beer up his nose through a straw, if you must know.) "I dunno, Bra. If the duckies stop moving long enough for me to think, I'll tell you."  
  
_Yeah, why are we here?_ Pan wondered. Then she remembered that she'd just turned twenty-one, and they were taking her out for her "first drink." Besides, all of them hadd stress in their lives, and a "few" drinks would be a nice way to loosen up.  
  
Suddenly, Trunks got up, (accidentally pouring tequila down his pants in the process) and wobbled to the stage at the front of the bar.  
  
"I'm gonna sing a song!" He announced with a rediculous grin worthy of Goten. He took an exaggerated deep breath, and began. "I love you, you love me, we're a happy familyyy..."  
  
Pan groaned and banged her head on the table, which cracked in half (the table, not her head, dummy.)  
  
As if it wasn't enough humiliation for one night, Goten screamed, "Look at the purple-orange duckies! One's even wearing a red mini-dress!" He laughed, ran to the stage, and started tap dancing.  
  
Bra downed another margarita, after raising it into the air and cheering, "Here's to you and here's to me, that we may never disagree, but if we ever don't agree, to hell with you and here's to me!"  
  
(AN: I don't know who that's by, if it's yours, tell me and I'll give ya credit...)  
  
Pan shook her head amusedly and grabbed one of Trunks' half-empty tequila bottles, completely draining it. Soon she was seeing dancing duckies like the rest of them. "Hey, you. Yeah, Duckie 3 in the hat! You can't dance! You hafta kick your leg higher!"  
  
Trunks was finally done with his less-than-melodious redition of the Barney Song and he walked back to the table, picking up one of his tequila bottles and holding it over his mouth to pour the whole thing in. When it was obvious there wasn't a drop left, he picked up another bottle and repeated the process, only to find that one empty as well. He went through all of his tequila bottles, every one dry.   
  
"Ey! Which duckie stole my dwink!?" he slurred.   
  
Pan grinned a drunk, yet typical Son grin at him. "I did! *hic* That stuff is *hic* yummy! Get some more, Trunksie-wunksie, please?" Neither she nor Trunks was sober enough to notice what she'd called him.  
  
Bra was seriously drunk, too, but for some odd reason, she DID notice and smiled widely, exclaiming "Aww!"   
  
Everyone looked at her, with the exception of Goten, who was still tapping on the stage. He had somehow gotten hold of a playboy bunny costume, and was wearing it- high heels, bunny ears, and all. Goten in playboy drag looked... strange, to say the least.  
  
"Well?" Pan prompted impatiently, wanting to know the reason for Bra's interjection. Bra drank one more martini, and then adopted a thoughtful look. After a few moments, she shrugged. "I don't remember."   
  
Pan and Trunks simultaneously banged their heads on the already cracked table, which shattered.  
  
The noise startled Bra, and she dropped her martini glass. The corners of her lips turned down in a frown, but after a couple of seconds she shrugged it off and called the waiter to bring her another. Then she looked to the stage and saw Goten tapping away in stilleto high heels. (Don't ask ME how he accomplished that... x.x;;)  
  
The aqua-haired demi-saiyajin grinned and whistled. "Whoo! Goten, you look hot!" She pushed over her chair (which feel into the broken remains of the table) and ran to Goten, proceeding to make out with him. He gladly obliged, of course, but that's no surprise...  
  
Trunks tried to stand. "He can't do that with my sister! I'm gonna kill him!" But he only managed to sit up and fall back down again.  
  
"Trunksie-wunksie," Pan scolded, still using her drunken name for him. "You really didn't see that coming?"  
  
"No! That's my best friend and my sister!"  
  
The black-haired girl shrugged. "Well, just about everyone else did." She smiled as the waiter brought two bottles of tequila. He started flirting with her and she flirted back.  
  
Trunks started to get mad. Now he wanted to kill HIM. Nobody else could flirt with his Panny! (Not that she knew he was his Panny... she wanted to be, though... she just never knew he wanted her to be... and he never knew that she wanted to be but didn't know... and she didn't know that... Ack! Just forget it! *runs around hitting herself on the head with a blow-up mallet, in the hopes that it will get her to write clearer sentences...*) He actually managed to stand and hit the waiter.  
  
Pan blinked curious eyes at him. "Whatcha do that for?"  
  
"I did it because nobody else flirts with my Panny."  
  
"Your Panny?"  
  
"Yep, my Panny," and he kissed her. "I love you, Panny."  
  
She smiled, and was about to say it back when she realized he was sleeping on the bar floor amongst the table wreckage. She pushed aside the broken tequila bottles surrouning his form, and lay down next to him. "I love you too, Trunksie-wunksie," she murmured, and kissed his cheek before falling asleep, too.  
  
****************  
  
When Goten and Bra woke up the next morning, they were still on the stage. There was a newspaper next to them, with two pictures on the front page- one of Bra and Goten in a rather... interesting position, and one of Trunks and Pan, sleeping in each other's arms- were on the front cover.  
  
Goten noticed itr and pointed to it. "Morning, Bra. Look!"  
  
"Someone shut up the bunny," Bra moaned. "I have a headache." She gasped when she saw what he was pointing to. "Oh, my, Dende... why?"  
  
Meanwhile, at Dende's:  
  
The namek grinned mischievously. "Because I thought it would be funny... that's why." _Dende only knows how boring it gets up here. Wait... I _**_am _**_Dende... _  
  
But that has nothing to do with anything. Back at the bar:  
  
"Trunks! Pan! Wake up!" Bra yelled.  
  
They both blinked groggy eyes, and, choosing to ignore her for the moment, Pan asked Trunks, "Did you tell me you loved me last night, or was I just dreaming?"  
  
Trunks thought for a moment. If Pan was in his arms, then that was a good thing, so... "I don't remember, but I do love you."  
  
Pnn smiled. "Good. I love you too."  
  
"No! Not good!" Bra screeched. She snatched the newspaper away from Goten and shook it in their faces.  
  
Trunks mumbled something about evil paparazzi finding him even when he owned the stupid bar, before his head snapped up. "Oh, no... what if Dad and Gohan find out?" Trunks asked worriedly, holding Pan closer.  
  
"Too late," Goten stated, one of his rare frowns on his face. "No one can save us now..."  
  
"Except us!" Bulma called happily, stepping out of her vehicle, Chichi right behind her.  
  
"I'm so happy!" Chichi exclaimed. "Now I'll have grandchildren, and great-grandchildren!"  
  
"We should start planning the wedding," Bulma suggested. "A double would be nice..."  
  
Just then, Gohan and Vegeta barged in, equally murderous glares on their faces. (Not that Vegeta didn' always have a murderous glare on his face... but that's besides the point.) "We're going to kill you!"  
  
Chichi and Bulma stepped up to them, glaring right back. "Oh, no you don't!" "Who are you to stop me?" "If you lay a hand on them, you're on the couch for a month, mister!" "Stupid woman..." "Son Gohan! Where do you think you're going?" "But Mom, I have to-" "No, you don't! You will not get in the way of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren!" "And the wedding!" "Vegeta, come back here!" "If I'm one less future grandchild or great-grandchild, I swear I will hunt you down with my frying pan and beat you senseless! It worked on my Goku well enough!" "Well, then, Mother, if Vegeta can't, can I at least-" "No!" "But I just want to-" "No!" "Stupid earth women, I am the Prince of all Saiya-jins-" "And if you stop them from having kids, there won't be any Saiya-jins for you to be the Prince of!" "But, Mom, PLEASE can I-" "I said no!"  
  
"Maybe now would be a good time to escape," Pan whispered. They all agreed and quietly tiptoed out.  
  
  
  
*************A few years later**************   
  
Vegeta and Gohan were on the floor, playing blocks with their grandchildren... nieces and nephews... no, grandchildren... ack, forget it- *Author starts to think that maybe she needs a better mallet...* Trunks and Pan's and Goten and Bra's children.  
  
"See?" Bulma announced triumphantly, "If you'd killed them that day, Thong and Bikini and Sushi and Olive wouldn't be here."  
  
"Stop your incessant chatter, woman! Can't you see that Bikini, Sushi, and I are trying to make a teddy bear out of blocks? We have to beat Gohan, Thong, and Olive's duckie!"  
  
Bulma just laughed.  
  
  
  
  
Well, all, what do you think about my first TP fic ever? Reviews are nice... *hint, hint*  
  
~Tanyaneko aka N-chan (Tanyaneko@aol.com)  
  
  
  
  
  



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